Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I'm not perfect, but God still likes me

So I was looking through my recent posts and came across one about moderation. It was funny because in it I said that I have no problem moderating my alcohol intake. Interestingly enough, about a week and a half ago, this was not true......

A really really good friend of mine was coming down from Portland for a visit. We chit chat on the phone a lot but I hadn't seen him since February and then only for a few hours. His bus came in Saturday afternoon and we went to my house to chill out and wait for evening time. A group of us were going to go out for a couple of drinks at a fun bar in Medford. I was excited because I was going to get to show a couple of friends that its possible to have a good time without going overboard. Haha. For those of you that were there, you know how that turned out. I don't know what went wrong or what I was thinking. In fact I don't think that I was thinking. I don't currently think that I was thinking anything at all. From my first beer on, I was going way too fast. I remember 7 beers and 3 shots. According to my friends I had a few more after that as well. I'll have to take them on their word because after beer number seven, I don't remember much.

I could say that it was a really hot day and I drank very little water and thats why I couldn't handle my whiskey, but screw that. I don't want to be known for being able to handle it. I don't want to know how much I can handle. The truth is, I rarely drink more then two beers in one night so I'm not used to that sort of thing. I was more drunk than I have ever been. I have brief flashes of memories: talking to my brother, puking on my friend Levi, kneeling on the side of the freeway puking, laying on the patio behind my parents house blathering on and on about everything that popped into my head and puking. I also swore a lot. I'm not saying that swearing is some horrible thing, but I generally try to keep my mouth clean for various reasons. Oh, and according to legend, I also showed off some pretty serious dance moves and informed my good friend that he was not gay. I was pretty ashamed of my behavior, mostly ashamed that I let things get out of control so quickly, but I'm not ashamed any more. I'm not proud of my behavior and I don't think I'll be having a drink any time soon ( that could be due to being sick the entire next day. I couldn't even hold down water until late afternoon). I just know that its behind me, Jesus is still my best friend, God is happy with me and loves and thinks no less of me and still wants to use me just as much. My wife was upset of course, I broke two promises that night, but she forgave me very quickly and took care of me the whole next day. Everybody in my life loves me so much and I am so rich because of it. So there you have it. Its a bad memory but its a learning memory. Thank you everyone who took care of me and thank you Jesus for taking care of everybody.