The Joy, The Spark, The Creativity

If you were to ask nearly anyone who knows me, you would find that for the most part I'm an enjoyable person to be around. I am talkative, but I am also a good listener. I have a lot of positive things to say and I am very encouraging. I am really good at having fun and generally I make it easy for others to have fun as well. I remember being described once, when I worked in the plywood mill (which is the most boring mundane awful place to work[except for some of the people]) as being "frustratingly positive". Lately though, when I begin to write, I just feel down. My chest feels heavy, my brain hurts and the creativity that normally jumps right out of me lies dormant. I can only think of crappy things to write about. My spark is gone. I recently had a vision that was the most depressing thing I've ever seen. I was good motivation, for a normal time (is there such a thing?) however receiving it now just makes me sad. Starting this blog I envisioned encouraging and humorous stories and anecdotes would be clogging the pages, but it hasn't been so. So for my sister and anyone else who happens to stumble upon my blog, forgive me. Maybe eventually I will find my way to the surface of this dark water and be able to see again.