Life as we know it

Life as we know it here in America is an odd thing. I, a middle class blue collar worker bee, have it pretty good. In a slipping economy I have a good job with benefits. I own a nice house in the country (well, own as long as I continue to make my payments...). My wife has a nice car to drive. I have tons of friends and nearby family. Most importantly, I have a personal relationship with my Papa God and I am free to make the most of it.
So then why do I struggle so much? Why does it seem so hard all the time? Why do I have a difficult time with work? Why do I struggle to appreciate my house and cars and all that stuff that is really a gift? Am I spoiled? Am I materialistic?
I have been coming more and more into the knowledge that the world has completely and totally turned logic around from what it was designed to be. So much of what we take for "natural law" isn't natural at all, but rather satan spawned. I want to badly to move from a life of brain knowledge to a life of experiential knowledge. I want to live out what I know. Truth is only as useful as it is applied. "Know the truth and the truth will set you free" doesn't mean that we find things out and are just happy with knowing them. We wouldn't discover the cure to aids and think "Oh good! Now I know the cure for aids I can just wait to die and die happy". Heck no! We would take that knowledge and apply to life. Not just our life but all life and in doing so, improve the quality of that life for MILLIONS!!! So why do we take the spiritual truth we know and act happy knowing it? Why don't we take that knowledge and share it with everyone? I know that many people do, but many more don't. I am so tired of living life to achieve the American Dream. I don't want to work for money! I hate it! I want to work for people. I know that you are supposed to work for God not matter what you are doing but I struggle with that. I try to have a good attitude and do a good job regardless of what I am doing, but I really want to work somewhere that makes a direct and positive difference in peoples lives.

Who are you?

Yesterday I walked into a room in my house and found a raving lunatic. He was so off his rocker that he was flat on his face. Out of his mouth spewed nonsense and craziness. The craziest part about it was that he was one hundred percent sure that all he was talking about was true and legitimate. Not only was he sure that the falsity he spoke was true, but he was seriously passionate about it. He looked me in the eye and told me that he had expectations about life. H knew that there was supposed to be a way things went. His life was supposed to have meaning and everyone around him was supposed to see that not only did his life have great meaning, but that he needed them to cater to his every whim and desire for that meaning to come forth. The scary to behold, I was riveted. I couldn't stop listening. His words were honey. His ideas seemed founded in logic and truth. He was so sure of himself. I wanted to know where he came by this information. This life altering, earth shattering information. He said he was born with it. That slowly, as he matured and became the amazing specimen of a man that he is today, the knowledge grew within. It was teetering on the brink of conscience thought when somebody came along and pushed it over the edge by treating him as if he were a normal person. It was like a volcano going off.
This was so exciting to me that I quickly called up a good friend and mentor. “You'll never believe what I've learned today” I practically yelled into the phone, “My expectations and ideas about how life should work are totally legit. The are inborn and therefore one hundred percent truth!”
My friend chuckled and spoke those words which come from the word of God. Showing me, enlightening me to the real truth. The Truth spoken not by a madman, but by Truthspeaker Himself. I went back to that lunatic and spoke the truth to him as well. He was frustrated at having all his rights taken away. At first. Later though, he realized that giving up rights for the short term brings unlimited freedom for the long term, making it more than worth it.

My Struggle

The mountain looms before me. Snow, ice, rock. Hard, unforgiving, merciless. At the bottom there is nothing. No progress, only stagnation and apathy. At the top there is, if nothing else, a view of what's to come. Though I know there is more. Much more. With daylight fading, I begin my assent. I begin moving from the footprint left when the world stepped on my and begin my forward progress. With determination in my eyes I move upward. I climb. Before I get very far though, I begin to slip. My feet cannot find purchase. I fall on my face, bruising and cutting my skin. Determination aids my legs in lifting from the ground. Again, pushing, fighting, scraping against the rocks with broken and split fingernails. Digging in with numb toes. Exhausted, completely out of fuel that is will to go on, my knees hit the ice. As my upper body nears the snow, my hands automatically appear underneath my chest and attempt to hold up my face. Pain shoots up my right arm. Snow fills my nostrils and open, screaming mouth. Blood is streaming down my arm as it pumps liberally out of my palm. With pressure the bleeding stops. A quick snow wash reveals a slice too clean to have been made by rock or ice. God must be mocking me. Kicking me when I'm down. Taking advantage of my inability to scale the obstacle set before me. What method of torture is He using on me? Three more nicks appear on my fingers as I brush away the snow. A metal spike, browned by my blood pokes through the snow, along with many others connected to a soul. Wish concentrated effort, I free the boot from its icy prison. Its exactly my size. Its partner is revealed next to the whole created by the first climbing boot. With my street shoes behind me, I begin to tread straight up the hill with not one slip. My hand still hurts, I'm still cold, but the summit is in sight. My heart reaches out to the Ever Merciful, seeking and receiving forgiveness for its doubt and thanking Him for always giving me the tools I need, even when I am so blind He has to stab my hand to open my eyes.

There is water under the seat. Where did it come from? Ask the mountain man, he knows. His knowledge is neverending, that is, until you ask him about flamingos. He is deathly frightened by flamingos. Shame on them. The way the fly about in big groups, as if they don't have any natural predators. Oh, but they do! Alligators!!!!!!! I wish I could eat some alligator. I hear it can be quite tasty. Snake too. One day maybe. But then again, maybe not. I am but dust in the wind, a mere whisp of fog disappearing as soon as the sun appears, am I not?

BOOGERS

I pick 'em. I flick 'em. I don't eat 'em. I prefer to use a tissue, but when I'm driving, I do what must be done. Then I roll down the window and try to dislodge the sucker one handed. They can be very sticky. I'm gonna go blow my nose now.

I am ready for heaven, or a time machine

The battle lines have been drawn. Gear is being strapped down. Weapons being sharpened. Here come the combatting armies......BAM! The shit has hit the fan! Oh man look at that splatter! Don't expect more details. Just know some relationships are on the line and I have a feeling some choices are going to be made. Now where is my time machine?

What's in a band name?

I have been meaning to write this for some time. Listening to KLOVE, not my first choice but only choice for christian radio in good ol' GP, I have recently heard a lot of band names that just sound silly. Names like Tenth Avenue North, Pocket Full of Rocks, and Mike's Chair. Hearing those names makes me wonder, just what kind of holy, inspirational message do names like those put forth? How do those names convey the image of Jesus Christ?
Then it occurred to me. Remember the passage in the gospels where Jesus is railing on the Pharisees for washing the outside of their vessels (aka themselves) when the inside was all maggoty? Well the band names are sparkling on the inside. All three of them put out songs that are just awesome, despite their unchurchlike names. The name is not important, the content is. We have to stop putting on airs like we are some big important thing. These band names have inspired me. They have inspired me to be less judgemental, and more open to letting God work His way.

What a beautiful

weekend! And, for the first time in quite a while, I actually made use of it! Saturday I helped Doug fix the riding lawn mower he procured for me. It isn't perfect, but it beats not having one, and now it runs great, just has a break lever sticking, do you like my run-on sentence? Sunday I got that lawn mower home and a bunch of firewood as well. I spend lots of time relaxing and taking care of my two Ladies. Last night, well, this morning at about 2:45 I changed a poopy diaper and before I finished, my daughter was yeller her dislike of the whole scenario, but you know what? I didn't mind one bit. I actually enjoyed myself.
I am really looking forward to spring. More sun, more warmth and lots of home improvement.

Feeling better

Last night I laid on floor so Emily could try and pop my back. From 2 feet away, through my shirt, she could actually see which vertebrae was out. Needless to say, I feel a hundred times better today.

Up and level

Wow, now I'm a dad. Its awesome. I've had a lot of ups and levels. Not really any downs. It's only been two weeks though :)
My neck hurts, my back is sore from work, I'm tired, my Birthday Dutch Bros. gift card has run out, yet I'm happy. God is faithful and I get to see it all the time.

Gabriella

Hey honey, will you please come out today? Come on, break that water! I know you can do it! I would love to share my birthday with you. As long as you come real soon that would be fine because mommy is hurting a lot and we are both so excited to meet you!

Another day, another year

Today is February 9th. That means two things. My friend Ian Ogier is 25. I wonder how he is doing, I haven't seen him in a while. The second thing is that tomorrow, I'll be 25. Can you believe that? I'm the younger brother, and I am going to be twenty freakin five.
I have a lot of misgivings about birthdays. I really don't like having them anymore. This one I have been dreading. I know that I go through this every year. At least for the past few. I can stay young on the inside and blah blah blah, but I still don't like the number.
However, I have been thinking about the positives:
I am one day closer to being with Jesus for eternity. Whether He comes before I go, or I simply go, I'm just one day closer.
Cheaper insurance. I have to have it. There is no getting around it. At least it'll be cheaper now.
Gabriella.
I can't think of anything else. I'm still undecided about whether or not I like it. I think people should be allowed to pick the age they want to be and just stay there. Oh well, whats a guy to do but deal with it, am I right?

My comments

are now moderated. I have received my second comment in a foreign language. This one came with a link. I followed, bad idea.

Every five minutes

So last night at around 7:15 my wife's irregular contractions started coming at more regular intervals. When they started arriving approximately five minutes apart we decided to call the doctor and let them know. We knew they were going to send us in to get checked, but we called anyway and sure enough, around 9 something we headed to the hospital. She was having good contractions but she wasn't dialated at all so they gave her medicine to stoop the contractions since she isn't quite far enough along for them to be "okay" with a delivery. It was not much fun, but it definitely was a little exciting at first.

Google Image Search

Here is some fun I had today finding pics online



For those of you who don't know, Jeebus is what Homer Simpson always says when I is talking about Jesus.

On the Ground

I know this is super cheesey, but its on my heart so I guess I don't care.






Here I sit broken hearted
I try to walk but I can't get started
I stand only to fall and get dirt on my face
There is mud in my eyes and I can't see straight
I try to crawl but the wind is too strong
I try to move but I always turn wrong
But whats this? I'm on my feet?
I really thing I'm strong enough to face the heat?
I take a step in the right direction
Only to throw myself down for lack of perfection

The ground is my friend
It never leaves
Its always there
When my courage flees
I know I can trust it
'Cause I can see it plain
There's no puzzle
It's safe and sane
My comfort bubble is all around me now
It protects me with its soothing sound
But God why can't I feel you when I'm on the ground?

Someone is right next to me holding out His hand
I take it in mine and He helps me stand
As soon as I'm up I look Him in the eye
There I can see I was born to fly
I turn around and spread my wings
I flap them hard as an angel sings
I try so hard but don't go anywhere
I look down and begin to despair
I've gone nowhere with the freedom He gave
To my comfort zone I am still a slave
My own devices have let me down
It would be so easy just to sink to the ground

The ground is my friend
It never leaves
Its always there
When my courage flees
I know I can trust it
'Cause I can see it plain
There's no puzzle
It's safe and sane
My comfort bubble is all around me now
It protects me with its soothing sound
But God why can't I feel you when I'm on the ground?

As my knees sink toward the earth
I hear a voice whisper my worth
It tells me I can do it I'm not alone
God isn't just sitting upon His throne
He is on the earth walking around
Looking for people who are on the ground
He wants to lift them up and be their friend
Their hurts and tears He wants to mend
Too bad I am always fight for control
Trying force my will upon my soul
I thank Him for setting me free
Then I put myself back in chains
He will take care of me
He is there and He wants to help so why do I try to take matters into my own hands, why do I ignor Him? All I have to do is climb into His arms, let Him lead, let Him do all the heavy work. I am always trying to do "whats right" when in truth I should be letting Him do whats right. He wants to work though me. I need to stop trying so hard. I need to allow Him to take control.

Blogging

is fun, but I'm not feeling inspired lately.