Another Dream

Last night I had another dream. I will write down what I remember. It was so vivid and clear.

I was at work. It was a place similar to where I work now but it was different outside. There were a lot of natural disasters happening, mainly in our area it had been raining so much and it was flooding bad. I went to work and it had stopped raining. There were a lot of other weird things going on as well. There were three mountains close to where I was, and each had something on top. I don't remember what was on the middle one, but on the outside two were two huge monsters. They were brown and black and they looked kind of like insects. I got one of the guys in my work to come out and look. They were so big they covered up the top of the mountain. There was some kind of carnival gong on in the parking lot. There were lots of tents and such set up. We were looking at the weird creatures when the near one spread its wings and went air born. The underside of its wings was a rainbow of color, red orange, yellow and green. When it took to the sky its whole body went rainbow of the same colors and it was a dragon. It had four legs, a long tail and short neck. The second one also took to the air and was a dragon. It was short and round like a barrel and it was purple and blue. The big one seemingly attached its wings to the ground and stretched way back, then let go and swooped at the ground. My co-worker and I were hiding against a tent and it was very close. They asked us what we were doing and we told them working. They started dive bombing the ground and telling us that work was a waste of time and we should just have fun. We said we had to buy food and they said just to catch your food. They continued to dive bomb the parking lot and when I had the chance, I ran for the edge of the buildings where there was an overhang.

The Joy, The Spark, The Creativity

If you were to ask nearly anyone who knows me, you would find that for the most part I'm an enjoyable person to be around. I am talkative, but I am also a good listener. I have a lot of positive things to say and I am very encouraging. I am really good at having fun and generally I make it easy for others to have fun as well. I remember being described once, when I worked in the plywood mill (which is the most boring mundane awful place to work[except for some of the people]) as being "frustratingly positive". Lately though, when I begin to write, I just feel down. My chest feels heavy, my brain hurts and the creativity that normally jumps right out of me lies dormant. I can only think of crappy things to write about. My spark is gone. I recently had a vision that was the most depressing thing I've ever seen. I was good motivation, for a normal time (is there such a thing?) however receiving it now just makes me sad. Starting this blog I envisioned encouraging and humorous stories and anecdotes would be clogging the pages, but it hasn't been so. So for my sister and anyone else who happens to stumble upon my blog, forgive me. Maybe eventually I will find my way to the surface of this dark water and be able to see again.

Witnessing

What is the best way to witness to someone who knows the truth but is choosing not to act on it? I have a tough time trying to figure out whether to be "tough" on them or just kinda nudging them along towards changing their lives. It greatly depends on their personalities I'm sure. I think the most frustrating part is when they say things like "I know I need to clean up my act" or "I know I'm really bad". I want to say "This is important! This isn't like 'I need to exercise' or 'I need to clean my house'. This is LIFE or DEATH! Its not a matter of simply acknowledging the truth, you have to do something about it. Stop taking the easy path. Stop being lazy and get it together. There are a hundred people praying for you all the time. You can feel it, I know you can, God has a purpose for you and He really really wants to be your friend. Come on!"

But of course, that would take courage, and there is a good chance I'd get called "pushy" or something else. Maybe that is okay. Maybe I just need to get pushy. I really don't know right now. Time to pray and see answers in the word.

Emotions

Okay so, I'm not really an emotional guy, unless you count chillness as an emotion. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have my passions and things that excite me and things that piss me right off, but in general, I'm pretty chill. When I do experience strong emotion, I don't generally handle it very well. When I get angry, I often yell, punch stuff, and exit the situation withouth much tact or dignity. When I get excited I tend to get loud, obnoxious, and I often talk enough for 10 auctioneers getting paid per sale.
One emotion that I don't do well at all is sadness. It feels weird to me. I don't get sad a whole lot, and when I do, it's like a big wet blanket, a wool one, got dropped on my from somewhere above my view. Suddenly I can't hold my head up, I can't get my bearings, I just feel lost. Sadness doesn't have the potency of anger to get a message acrossed, unless you were talking to me and you are certain people I know then it would work even better. I just feel hopeless at these points. Like I'm doing all I can to make life better for the world, but all I'm getting is flack. It never turns out right, its never enough and I can't fix anything. I know there is no point to feeling this way and I know that soon enough I'll get over it because life goes on regardless of emotion, but it feels good to wallow in. Listening to sad music is like cortizone after you've cleaned out your belly button with poison oak, it just makes things feel okay. I thought that maybe writing about it would help, it did a little, but not much. Oh well.

Dream

Okay so I'm going to relate a dream I had this morning and any comments would be great.

I was at my moms house with my wife. I believe we were the only ones there. I got upset about something and went outside. Our car was in its usual spot but behind it was a car I didn't recognize. It was white and styled like a Dodge Magnum only bigger. The wheels (rims) were completely white and nearly solid. It was very clean and had tinted windows. It was dusk when I went out. I didn't do anything and just went back inside. Later, I got upset again and went outside. This time our car was gone and the big white car with the tall white wheels was backed into its place. I approached it and was suddenly shocked with electricity. It was like a jolt though, it was like a solid wall of electricity. It knocked me down. I got up and went back inside. Later, I was outside again. It was night and I was in only my underwear. I wondered why the car was there so I approached it again and again I was knocked down by the electricity. A woman was walking in my direction from the other side. I now saw a large black SUV there as well. I was very angry at the woman. I got up, seemingly inside the electricity for I was continually shocked. I started walking toward her. It took a lot of effort and was very painful. I was breathing hard and I started snarling at her.

At that point my wife woke me up because I was "breathing weird". Any ideas?