Why Boys Need Parents

These are not my pics, but they are hilarious so I'm posting them anyway.

Basketball Season

This season, basketball is going much better for me than last season. Obviously, there has been an improvement in my skill level versus the beginning of last season, but morale and teamwise it is much better. I am having a lot more fun. I know most of the team well and the players who cause much strife and frustration are not a part of the team this year. I am getting a lot of play time and though I've made some dumb mistakes and even gotten reprimanded by the ref one game, I am also making better plays and being more useful to the team overall. I have also really enjoyed my family coming to watch. Last year they were at a lot of games but this year there are more of them and that is fun. I now have a 26 day span between games to my challenge is going to be staying in shape.

Oh, and as far as having more fun goes, the winning doesn't hurt.

preseason game 4

Last night we had our fourth and last pre-season game. We started of slow, but that could be because most of our guys showed up close to the starting time and they started the game about 15 minutes early. We rallied though and won by a good margin. I personally had a rough start to the game but, with help from my teammates and wife, was able to settle down and just play and I ended up having a pretty good game. I also had lots of fans there. Zac, Chloe, Mom, Haylie, and of course my beautiful wife with her lovely round belly :)

ZAC!!!!!!!!!!!

Now its my turn to get after you! Keep it at home at least!

Bunco

Here is a picture from the Ministry Team Bunco Night. Unfortunately the lighting was terrible and there are very few good pics. Here is one that Emily and I especially like:

What the heck?

I swore blatently in my last post and still no comments. *sigh*

Remember that coldsore?

Today at work, a customer came up to the counter and says "Is that a herpe on your lip?" I said "yes" because I was trying not to get upset and he says "Better watch who you kissed, or what you kissed". Then went into a story about having girlfriends with herpes etc. Asshole.

Stupid coldsore!

Move It!

This morning as my wife and I were laying bed, waking up, listening to her alarm go off sever times because she wakes up extra early just to snooze, I got to feel our baby move a lot. Emily said that she often starts moving when the alarm goes off for the first time. I have felt her (Gabriella that is) move before but this morning it felt like something was trying to get out. It wasn't just a slight movement, it was a serious push. So cool!

The Amazing Message

Lately I have been reading the book of Romans in the Message bible. It is awesome. Reading through some of the chapters in the New International Version, which I believe is the most popular, there are phrases that are very well known and often quoted such as
Romans 12:1-2
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

However in the Message version it reads like this:
Romans 12:1-2
1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

See the difference? I have nothing against the NIV however the Message just puts it so plainly, no research needed. I don't have to figure out what it means to be a "living sacrifice" or how to renew my mind, its written in plain American. Yes I said American and not English in purpose. I have always enjoyed the new testament but reading Romans in the Message lately has just been really really good for me.

See for yourself www.biblegateway.com

Did you hear Willie Nelson was hit by a car?

He was on the road again.

Hello EBAY

Apparently, my cut offedness was only temporary. :D

flip the switch

There is a greater meaning in life. To life. I know this. As my father-in-law would say, "I know it in my knower". Y'all know what I'm talking about. Anywho, back to meaning. My life is important. I use my life to better the lives of those around me. My life is a bulb and I can flip the switch. My light turns on and illuminates my immediate surrounding area. Those nearby can see better and some even find their own light switch. There is a ripple effect and soon people whom I have never met and never will meet are finding their light switches all because I chose to flip mine.

Meanwhile, I sit here at work and wonder what I can do to make life more interesting. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot going on in my life. I have an amazing God who has filled me with His spirit and shown me what lies beyond our brief sojourn here on earth as we know it. I have a beautiful adventurous red-head for a wife who is currently pregnant with our first child, an adventure in itself. I have a house to take care of, and a huge family who loves me and loves spending time with me. I have lots of friends and we like doing things together such as playing wow cards. I am a deacon at my church, well, technically the deacon which means I have lots of responsibility. I also have lots of books to read and video games to play, both of which I really enjoy. All of this is piled on top of 9 hours of daily work and an hour and a half of driving. Oh and that job is one that takes years to get really good at so I am constantly learning and asking for help.

Interesting? It shoud be. I think my main problem is that I'm not looking at anything with the right lens. Except my xbox. I like that, but I don't play it as much as I expected I would. Too many other things to do I guess. Anywho, lens. There are times when I look at all I have and all who have me and I just am in awe. I like those times. Those times generally come when someone nearby me flips on their light, and helps me see better.


p.s. sorry there are no pictures to make my blogs easier on the eyes.

Here is something I read Tuesday

that I liked a lot.

Romans 4:19-25
Abraham didn't focus on his own impotence and say, "It's hopeless. This hundred-year-old body could never father a child." Nor did he survey Sarah's decades of infertility and give up. He didn't tiptoe around God's promise asking cautiously skeptical questions. He plunged into the promise and came up strong, ready for God, sure that God would make good on what he had said. That's why it is said, "Abraham was declared fit before God by trusting God to set him right." But it's not just Abraham; it's also us! The same thing gets said about us when we embrace and believe the One who brought Jesus to life when the conditions were equally hopeless. The sacrificed Jesus made us fit for God, set us right with God.

Goodbye Ebay

Well, thats it. Its over. Its done. It is, no more.
My internet access at work has been getting stricter lately. They've put a limit on our time and cut out all those awesome sites like www.freearcade.com
It isn't very nice of them. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd probably do the same thing in their shoes, but it is still annoying. Up until today, I still had access to a certain buying, selling, good time site known as EBAY. Alas, my access is no more. *sigh*

One Tuesday Morning

This morning was very similar to a morning I have at least one or two times a week. I got up early, though not as early as I'd planned. I took a long shower and then it was back to bed. My wife likes to snuggle and snooze. A lot. So I ended up not actually getting out of bed until 6:30. Considering I leave my house at around 7 to get to work on time, that didn't give me a whole lot of room to wiggle. Clean clothes were located, lunch was made and a hasty breakfast was prepared. Got it all together, zipped out the door, went back in to turn off a light, zipped out again, a last goodbye hug and it was on the road.
Lots of slow cars on the highway and freeway and eventually I made it to work.

Exciting no? I guess it beats a million other situations. I think I'd rather it be something like this:

I open my eyes. Through the small bedside window I see darkness tinged with the grey of the coming dawn and the outlines of giant evergreens. I slip from under the covers, careful not to disturb my sleeping wife and find my shoes. I grab my bow, quiver and skinning knife.

Outside I travel swiftly yet with almost no sound. I pass many small rodents en route to their daytime shelters, but they do not interest me. My path takes me through a mist enshrouded forest, up a steep hill to an outcropping of large rocks above a sprawling field. I settle in and wait. The breeze stirs my hair and cools my face. It's blowing uphill, carrying my scent away from the bedded down game.

As time ticks slowly by I thank God for the beautiful land and for all He has given me. His glory is shown plain and evident in all I can see. I have felt His provision and covering my whole life and there is no possible way I can sanely deny that He exists and loves me.

Suddenly I am stirred out of my revere. Movement down below. Three does rise from their beds to begin grazing. They love the dew covered grass. I could take any one of these but I would prefer a stag to avoid leaving a fawn without a caretaker. Soon, my patience is rewarded. A large buck enters the field and walks into plain sight. The arrow I've had strung stretches the string tight as the feather fletching brushes my cheek. I concentrate. My skill as a hunter is the only hope of survival for my family. The silent missile streaks through the air and finds its mark. I thank my Heavenly Father for His provision.

I arrive back at my home and find my wife making breakfast and preparing for the day. There is a lot to do but we are both looking forward to its challenges.





Maybe an apocalypse wouldn't be such a bad thing after all........

Here are pics of my sweet little baby!

Introducing Gabriella Elizabeth




She has arms, legs and super cute little lips too!

Mmm mm tasty!

I like eating dinner at Sizzler. The have some tasty food. Its especially tasty when its FREE!!!


My brother-in-law and I bet on whether my wife is pregnant with a girl or a boy. I won! Its a girl. I just knew it. Don't ask me how. Maybe thats fathers intuition. My brother knew all his kids. Maybe its just a McEntire thing. Then again, my parents had me pegged to be "Shoshana Rose" so who knows. I guess it could be a Wytcherley boy thing. who knows

Hi Yah!!!

Last night, for the first time, I felt my baby kick.
My wife is all of the time saying that the baby is tickling her or kicking her because, obviously, she can feel it on the inside. Last night she felt it on the outside so I put my hand there and what do you know? I felt it. It was super cool. I am very excited to find out if its a boy or girl on Thursday. I don't care either way, I just want a healthy baby, but I'm thinking its a girl. We'll see :)

I'm not perfect, but God still likes me

So I was looking through my recent posts and came across one about moderation. It was funny because in it I said that I have no problem moderating my alcohol intake. Interestingly enough, about a week and a half ago, this was not true......

A really really good friend of mine was coming down from Portland for a visit. We chit chat on the phone a lot but I hadn't seen him since February and then only for a few hours. His bus came in Saturday afternoon and we went to my house to chill out and wait for evening time. A group of us were going to go out for a couple of drinks at a fun bar in Medford. I was excited because I was going to get to show a couple of friends that its possible to have a good time without going overboard. Haha. For those of you that were there, you know how that turned out. I don't know what went wrong or what I was thinking. In fact I don't think that I was thinking. I don't currently think that I was thinking anything at all. From my first beer on, I was going way too fast. I remember 7 beers and 3 shots. According to my friends I had a few more after that as well. I'll have to take them on their word because after beer number seven, I don't remember much.

I could say that it was a really hot day and I drank very little water and thats why I couldn't handle my whiskey, but screw that. I don't want to be known for being able to handle it. I don't want to know how much I can handle. The truth is, I rarely drink more then two beers in one night so I'm not used to that sort of thing. I was more drunk than I have ever been. I have brief flashes of memories: talking to my brother, puking on my friend Levi, kneeling on the side of the freeway puking, laying on the patio behind my parents house blathering on and on about everything that popped into my head and puking. I also swore a lot. I'm not saying that swearing is some horrible thing, but I generally try to keep my mouth clean for various reasons. Oh, and according to legend, I also showed off some pretty serious dance moves and informed my good friend that he was not gay. I was pretty ashamed of my behavior, mostly ashamed that I let things get out of control so quickly, but I'm not ashamed any more. I'm not proud of my behavior and I don't think I'll be having a drink any time soon ( that could be due to being sick the entire next day. I couldn't even hold down water until late afternoon). I just know that its behind me, Jesus is still my best friend, God is happy with me and loves and thinks no less of me and still wants to use me just as much. My wife was upset of course, I broke two promises that night, but she forgave me very quickly and took care of me the whole next day. Everybody in my life loves me so much and I am so rich because of it. So there you have it. Its a bad memory but its a learning memory. Thank you everyone who took care of me and thank you Jesus for taking care of everybody.

Goodness

God is good. Just absolutely good. There is no evil in Him. He is pure 100% good. I'm finally getting to a place where I can see how much emphasis I've put on myself lately. Letting go of yourself is not a bad thing. You don't lose your identity, become a clone of the system doing only what is required of you by an unseen entity who wants mindless robot servants, but rather you discover yourself in a deeper more intimate way than is possible through any other source. I love who God made me to be. The world can be taking a crap on me and even though it smells and is unsightly and just plain sucks, if I can just pass it all on to God, He can and will take care of it for me. He loves me soooo much that he would sit under an elephant with the hershey squirts so I didn't have to. God. The Almight rule of the entire universe would do that for me. Wow, now thats humbling. I sure do love Him.

Daddy

I found out this weekend that I will soon be hearing that word in my house. Well, by soon I mean in a couple years. My wife is going to have a baby and we are so super happy. We've been trying for almost three years and had one miscarriage, two surgeries on female reproductive parts and a doctors prediction that natural conception was very unlikely. Thankfully for us, our God is above all that and His timing is ALWAYS perfect.

Yay!

So cool

Here is a very cool deer.

He will be even cooler mounted on my wall next year :)

Work

Work is crazy. Yes the source of much contention is now gone, but summer is upon us and there are only three men working the whole store. It will not be easy. It will be hectic and stressful. But at least I know my job is secure. If any of you think about it, pray that I will do well, not make a boatload of mistakes, and above all else, remain a constant example of love. Not easy here.

sinus

Today was the 12th day in a row that my sinuses have been chock full of snot and other nasty stuff. The pressure is not as bad as it was. Well, in some ways its not. Instead of feeling like there is a volleyball stuff behind my face it just feels as though there is a large marble resting under the skin against my cheek bone. Bleh! I have proably used 400 tissues and could have raised the titanic with all the blubber like mucous that has made its way out my nose. I know this is all very enjoyable to read, especially to all you readers eating lemon pudding. Or butterscotch. And the last few days, your pudding has had cherry stripes in it. Sometimes just straight up cherry. MMMMMM. Hopefully soon the pressure will abate, the flow of nasal excrement will come to an end and all will be well again. Lets hope its soon.

My House

One of the few things I have wanted to do since I was a kid is to hown a home. Own my own home. Why? I'm not really sure, but soon my desire will come to pass. I received word today that the bank signed off on the deal so now all that awaits are inspections and closing. I am looking forward to it immensly.

Moderation

The key to living right. Moderation. Well, in most respects. There are a few areas in life where moderation is simply an impediment. In the majority of other areas however, moderation makes the river of life flow smoothly and calmly. I am very good at moderating certain areas of my life that other people have a lot of trouble with. Alchohol for instance. I know a lot of people who enjoy it, but have a lot of difficulty just enjoying one or two. They often enjoy 6 or 12. That is just simply not a struggle for me. On the other hand, put a situation in front of me that has a directy relationship between its level of danger and its adrenaline output and I don't always use my better judgement. Contrary to popular belief, I often consider the outcome and the consequenses. I envision what could happen if things go wrong, and if they go right. I don't often just "go for it" without at least some thought. Often enough though, I consider either worth the risk or I underestimate the situation. For instance, I was once going swimming with some friends. The swimming hole was below a high bridge. It was probably sixty feet or so. I had determined before we even went that it would not be worth it to me to jump off because if I was to get hurt I would not be able to go to Brazil like I had planned. Some of the other young fellows were plannning to jump however and so we watched from below as they tried to work up their courage. They had been going on and on about how they were going to jump and basically how tough they were, only after about 15 minutes or maybe even 20, neither of them had gone. I do my best to "walk my talk" and when people brag and boast and then don't back it up, it annoys me greatly. I was so annoyed in fact that I went up on that bridge, readyed myself and after 5 or 10 minutes of making sure I was in just the right position, I jumped. OH BOY was it fun. Falling for multiple seconds and hitting so hard that I was turned completely upside down in the water. After I went, of course the others went as well, but I had to be the first. I had to show them up. And of course I did it again some time later. Fun? Yes! Adrenaline? Very much. Stupid? Yes again. That is where my battle lies, in the listening to the better judgment God gave me. One needn't live in fear, but one should not be foolish either.

Pain :)

Okay so right now I'm not in much pain, but that is because I'm sitting in just the perfect position. If I move to the left or right, I'm gonna be in more pain. Its amazing how many movements can cause a bruised rib to bite you. My stomach muscles are not nearly as sore as yesterday, which is nice, but my side is still very tender. Hmm, what to do, what to do.....

The rollercoaster

Life is such a rollercoaster. It may be clicke` but I don't care. One moment you are riding high some victory, achievement, or success and the next you take a sucker punch to the gonads. It almost makes one feel fear when confronted with something to rejoice about because there is always the wonder about what evil is about to befall one due to the good that has already come. I know that is not a good attitude, but it is so totally frustrating when it feels like there is no straight up good thing. God is good yes, and all He does is good, but the world is evil and it uses us for its whipping boy to get back at God for doing and being good. I know He has us in the palm of His hand and He won't give us more than we can handle, I know that very well. I am just sick of the negative side of life. I guess thats how it works though, you take the bad with the good and vice versa. I am going to do my best to just focus on the good parts of life and giving God glory, but those negative sides are sure in your face.



Stupid Devil.



Bleh.

mis-placed

I often mis-place items. I often forget where I've put things. I often stare right at what I'm looking for without seeing it. I often try my hardest at what I'm doing, and it still goes awry. I am often accused of not paying attention or not putting my effort into something. I often disagree with these accusations however I am powerless to object because there is no firm argument as to why a job was either done incorectly or was not done at all. I could say it is because I often misplace my thoughts. I try to always put them in the same place, the place where they go, but I can't seem to find them very often. Maybe I am not very organized inside. Maybe my thought shelves are either full or simply mislabeled. Maybe I don't often misplace things, maybe I simply misplace the thoughts that pertain to that certain thing or event. Either way, I sure wish I could work something out with my brain. Reach some sort of agreement to where we work together instead of against each other. Maybe someday.

OMSI

I got the opportunity to go to OMSI, which is, Oregon Museum of Science and Information maybe? Something like that. I could look it up I guess, but naw, I'll just be lazy. It was an absolute blast. The regular part of the place has mostly stuff for kids to do. There are tons of science examples to play with such as a table where you build a building to withstand an earthquake then you hit the start button and it shakes all over to test your design and tons of other stuff. The area that was really interesting to me however was the special presentation of Leonardo Da Vinci. Wow. It was amazing. He invented and tested so many things that affect our current way of life. A lot of people know he worked with flying machines, but he also created multiple versions of the self-propelled car, cranes, automatic hammers, he designed a city to better withstand the black plague, and even though he hated violence, he made many war machines including a tank. All his inventions are enough to keep one entertained but he also studied the human body extensively, and then there is always his painting. There has been a lot of investigating done on the mona lisa, and that is really interesting. I have never been enthralled with the thing like so many people are, but once I saw the a picture taken of it in infra-red with a 240,000,000 megapixel camera, it liked it way better. I'm definitely going to have to do some research into him, I'm sure it will make for a good read.

Come and Gone

Yesterday was the end of the 24th year of my life. Today is the first day of the 25th. What does being 24 mean? What symbolism of manhood does it grant? What step must I now take to reflect the new number that reflects the time I've spent on this here earth? Not a darn thing thats what. After hearing me complain about having to continue to have birthdays every year, a good friend told something that was really meaningful. He said "just because you grow older doesn't mean you have to grow up on the inside" which isn't to say I am going to be acting like a 23 year old when I'm fifty, heavens no, what it means is that I don't have to lose touch with who I am, with my youth as it were just because i continue to age. I had a wonderful year as far as birthdays are concerned. I got to celebrate it with my family, and my in-laws, and my wife threw me a surprise party with all of my friends. I think that I had the most fun ever, but I can't really remember all of them :) Thanks to all who made me feel loved this year.

What a weekend

Wow, okay here goes:
On Friday I was all stoked because I was going to spend the evening with my brother watching movies and just chillin'. I got home from work and my wife was already packing to go. She told me that a friend of mine, Phil, needed some help moving some sound equipment at church and had asked if I could run do that before going to my brothers house. We headed that way and before we got there my wife started trying to get me to go to the store for more ginger ale. She wasn't feeling too good so she wanted to get more, I told her to just wait we'd get more later. She was really upset and I couldn't figure out why she was being so silly. We got to the church and I parked around the side, but I didn't see Phil's car, I saw my brothers. I had called him to tell him I had to run by the church so I thought maybe he came to help move stuff so it would go faster. We went it and I was grabbed by a bunch of guys, luckily they didn't try anything funny or I would have had to kick all their butts at once :] Phil wasn't there and I asked what was going on and they all said they were there to help Phil. I thought that was fine so we started shootin hoops waiting for the man to get there. It was only a few minutes until he arrived and we just kept playing ball. After a little while I got pretty confused. I said "Whats going on here?" and they all said "Happy Birthday!!!". It was a surprise party set up for me by my wife. Looking back on the past week there were several times when I thought she was sure acting funny. When she basically urged me to spend the evening at my bros, when she laughed and though it was cute that he was so excited to watch a movie with me he kept texting me and so on. We had a great time, played 5 flags up, cone ball, ultimate football, basketball, ate pizza, drank soda, farted, a lot. It was good "man time". Afterwards, I went over to my buddy Shiloh's house and we stayed up until 2:30 playing video games. After that it was off to the inlaws to sleep for about 3 1/2 hours. I got up and went to my house to get ready for men's meeting which was at seven. After that I went over to my father-in-law's house and drug brush until lunch time. There were a lot of people over helping so it was more fun than usual, although I generally have a pretty good time. The only thing is, I was already sore from the previous night, staying up late playing physical games then sleeping 3 hours on the floor, so dragging brush made it worse. That and the fact that when I drag, I have this curious urge to drag the biggest piece I can find and not only take over to the pile, but pick it up over my head and throw it on top. Safe to say I was hurtin for certain. Last night I had a basketball game against a team that has beaten us twice already. I was still sore, but I had stretched a lot and felt as ready as I could be. It was a hard fought battle, they are big and skilled. We ended up losing again, but I personally had a great time. I got six points, which is good for me, and I didn't air ball the free throw like last game, yeah, that's right, I air balled a free throw. It was a long and glorious weekend filled with much merry making and bruise taking. Good times.

What is sad

Today is Friday, normally a good day. Tonight I am going over to my brothers house to watch a movie, Shooter, and that is going to be good. I am having lunch with my mom today, I don't have to make anything and she always brings lots, and that is good. Fridays are good days. So what is sad? Today my boss is getting surgery on his wrist, and everybody is just happy he's gone. It is sad that even with how good Fridays are, its even better without the boss. He is a good guy, but he just makes things difficult. Especially slow days. I hope his surgery goes good. Maybe he'll get more sleep and be less cranky. Lets hope.

little? no, BIG

I picked up a small rock, it caused an avalanche
I make a small spark, it destroyed a forest
One small clot, one life stealing heart attack
You never know the repercussions of your actions.

Goal Update

My goal for the end of January was sugar only once a week. A week is 24 hours long, right?

January

So today is the last day I will be posting in January since I only post while at work. This month has been a strange one. Lots of good things, lots of bad. Yesterday was the memorial service for Silas and Josh. It was pretty emotional, but not as bad as I expected. Well, not for me anyway. Mainly because of the ceremnial parts such as the multitude of hymns and choirs singing and the pastor talking for so long. Not that there is anythng wrong with that, but it just kind of took the emotion out of it for me. I didn't go to the burial, or internment I think they called it. I didn't feel like I needed to, but now I feel bad, I feel like I should have gone. Oh well, the past is the past. Thinking about the past, I used to really wish I could go back in time and change things. I have learned since then that is a silly waste of time and I don't bother with it anymore, but just going through some memories really filled me with regret. I know a lot of people say you should regret life, but there were a lot of instances where I could have treated people better. A lot better. I know that its behind me now and I need to simply learn all I can from it, but it still makes me sad that I didn't make as the positive influence I could have.

Heres to looking forward I guess. Never waste a minute. Always use it for the best. You never know when you might not have any minutes left.

More Dreams

Okay, so, even though I've had a less than enthusiastic response to previous dream postings, I will post yet again. The reason I am posting these is because I feel they are prophetic. Don't ask me why, there are just times when I feel like the dream I had was real in a sense and I've seen them come true before, though never in a literal sense. I've learned to listen to my spiritual senses when it comes to these dreams.


This dream occurred in three flashes. First part I don't remember. Second part: I was at some sort of school in the gym. There were a bunch of metal folding chairs set up and people sitting in them. Suddenly, a machine gun started firing. I heard someone say "They pointed it right at the Russians!". I looked to my right and I saw men in green clothing, looked almost like uniforms, getting shot. One in particular fell to the ground and continued to get holes punched in his head. Another from the group tried to protect him and was shot as well. All in all I saw four "Russians" get shot multiple times. The shooting stopped and I looked to the front of the crowd and saw a machine gun on a bi-pod break to pieces. The gun was out in the open and nobody did anything to stop it. It went on for about two minutes.

Flash three: I was at home, lying on the couch only the couch was along a different wall. A couple that I know was leaving our house and talking about their kids. The man said that his son (who appeared to be about four years old) had a personality disorder that came out in five different voices. My instant thought was demonic influence. The boy came up to me as they were leaving and put his lips right on mine. I tried to pull away because I didn't want anybody to think I was doing something to the boy. For some reason I couldn't pull away and as I struggled I woke up with a gasp.

I know they sound really weird, but I'm telling you, I know they mean something.

God is a good God

I have a memory, from about 7 years ago when, while working at my first job (McDonalds) I said that I wished I had more patience. My boss told me to be careful what I wished/prayed for because patience only comes through situations requiring patience. Aka, annoying, frustrating times. Since then I have always thought twice about asking God to give me more of certain virtues, basically the fruits of the spirit. I remember the song from VBS, "Love joy peace, patience kindness goodness grace, gentleness, and self control, this is the fruit of the spirit. I was thinking about it today and you know what? God is good. Every good and perfect gift comes from God. If we, being evil, desire good for our children, how much more will God, the only good being in existence, desire good for us? That is a paraphrase to be sure, but that is basically what it says. God has good things in mind for us. He wants to prosper us, not harm us. We should never be afraid to ask of God. We should never be worried about unintentional consequences. He Desires good for us and He is the all powerful God. That's not to say the devil doesn't mess things up now and then, but God is stronger than the devil and even when bad things happen, God will bring good out of them. Every time.

Father, please help me to grow in every one of those fruits. Help me to be more patient, kind and help me please please please to have more self-control. Thank you so much. I love you Papa :)

Josh

I remember your voice most of all. Always tinged with a laugh. I remember the way you liked to put a "y" at the end of everyones name: Timmy, Joely, even Ireney on extra silly days. You loved life and you loved having fun. Thanks you God that we got to spend 17 years with somebody so cheering and uplifting. Can't way to hear you say "welcome home Matty"

Silas

For a moment, try to think of the nicest person you know. Try to think of the one person in your life who gets along with absolutely everybody.
This is Silas. Was Silas I guess. I hadn't talked to him in a couple months, but I have many memories. He was always ready to laugh, always ready to find humor in life's frustrations, even when they were often pointed at him. I honestly have nothing but good memories. It is weird to think that he is gone. I know that he is having a rolicking good time. He is probably talking to Josh, though about what, I don't really know. I think the only thing holding his family together right now is the hope that Josh will come back. We are all praying and hoping and trusting the Almight God to save him. Well, I guess I shouldn't say save, because he is in the best place in the world, I should say give him back to us for some more time. I am just praying praying praying, but it is hard to hope after seeing him. After seeing the blank stare in his half open eyes. Thankfully, it is not up to me. It is in Papa's hands now, and Papa has perfect timing.

Silas, I miss you already, thanks for being my friend. I'll see you soon. Be sure you have a spot saved for me in front of the bigscreen to play some Starfox. I love you.

Lazy

Today I was lazy. I felt sleepy this morning so I didn't go to the gym. It wouldn't be so bad except that I don't pay for my gym membership. I am part of a deal that allows me to work 4 hours per week and earn a free family membership. I didn't work my hour today. I was lazy. I feel bad about it. I know I shouldn't dwell on it, I need to move on, but I still be bad. I hate being lazy. Bleh!

More Basketball

Last night we had our fifth regular season game. We started the season 0-3. Yuck! We even got beat by a team we should have walloped (we were up by 12 at one point) but ended up losing because we couldn't hold it together. Thursday was our fourth game. We only had 6 of our regular 11 in attendance. It went much better that way. Instead of changing guys in and out a bunch of times we kept more of a steady line-up playing. It was much easier to establish a rhythm that way. It was a close game and we ended up winning by four. Last night we had seven out of the regular eleven. Come to find out, one guy quit, another started swimming, and one might not show up to much due to work. One guy was out of town and no word on the last. We had a replacement for the quitter which was nice because it gave us more of a break. It was a hard fought game and just like the first time we played this particular team, there were way too many fouls. The score was close at first but we pulled away in the fourth quarter. As we went into the last couple minutes, my coach/manager/teammate told me that the plan was to pass the ball around a lot to avoid fouls and keep the clock running. "Try not to shoot it" he told me. Not a problem for me. I generally avoid shooting as much as I can because I am terrible at it. Coincidentally, the other team paid me no heed and I ended up getting the ball right under the hoop and scoring two baskets. Lay-ups I can do. It was a fun game and I hope we have the shortage of guys in the future. Call me selfish if you want, but I like getting to play more than a few minutes.

Papa, what do you look like?

Okay so, I have always had something in my mind that separated Jesus form God. There was just something there, not sure where it came from, though I have a few theories, I am not going to discuss them here. I always looked to Jesus for everything, which is okay, but the reason I did was because I was seeing a "good cop, bad cop" routine go though my head. That doesn't exist. Jesus is God. They are one. It says so right in the bible, check it out:



John 14:7-9
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7If you really knew me, you would know[b] my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him."

8Philip said, "Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us."

9Jesus answered: "Don't you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, 'Show us the Father'? 10Don't you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you are not just my own. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. 11Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves.




Everything that Jesus said/did was the same thing as God saying/doing them. God wants us to just love everyone. God healed all those people. Okay so that's nice, but doesn't that then mean that only Jesus could heal people? Obviously not since the disciples did. Jesus was a man. Straight up. Not "God as man" but just a plain ordinary ol' man, except for one thing. He never sinned. At all, not once. He lived in right relationship with God. Well, I guess that leaves me out, I'm screwed cause I sin all the time (even though I hate it). Actually, there was that time Jesus was killed, you remember that? Yeah that means He gave you an easy button to get to God. Now I can live in right relationship with Him because I am pure and Holy. BLASPHEMER!

Not, its not through me or anything I did, its through the blood. Its not fair, its too easy, but I didn't make the rules. Oh and don't forget, after you hit the easy button, you still have to put the supplies away and then use them, its not the end of story.

Okay well that turned into something I totally didn't plan. Oh well, maybe someone needed to read it. My original point was, God is good. He really is and He really, really, really loves you sooooooo much.

Is it finally time?

Has there been one thing you have wanted to do for your whole life? For it its playing the drums. I have been a music lover for as long as I can remember. I love rhythm and getting down with my bad self. Honestly, I also love the action, you know, hitting stuff and making loud noise. Its just something I'm naturally good at :)

I had a set for a little while. It was the "old" set of a friend and he said I could use it to learn on. Well, that was going pretty good until I got married and moved into a studio apartment. Not exactly a lot of room for extras there. Since then we've lived with roommates or in our travel trailer so there has been no room. Well now we have a two bedroom place for ourselves. I have the room. After that I just had to figure out how to get the drums. I'm not what you'd call rich, well, in this day and age maybe just being able to pay all your bills (by the grace of Papa) makes you rich, and "slush" money is hard to come by. The Good Lord heard my prayers, the ones I didn't pray because that would selfish (silly me), and He gave me a set. Two actually. He is so amazing. I got a set from my beautiful sister Sarah for Christmas, then that Sunday a gal in church whom I've been helping with some stuff offered me another. There is always more than enough, right?

So now, I have the drums, I have the room for them, next is to learn. Well, before that I have to make them playable at my house. I live in a condominium and there are lots and lots of rules. Luckily there are other people in the world who have my same predicament. There is a product called "mutes" which is basically round rubber pads that go on the drums to make them quiet. That way you can still practice all the motions without making too much racket, and although this isn't my preferred style, its better than nothing. Much better. Okay, anyway, back to the topic at hand, learning. The nice thing about going to church is that you know lots of people. At my church we have upwards of 300 people in attendance on any given Sunday, and I know most of them. I'm a bit of a people person and I talk a lot. Two of my friends, Mo and Fred (yes that is their real names), both offered to help me right away. I know that I could also ask Cedar and Arby (yes again on the names, aren't they awesome?) for help if I needed it. God is so the best provider in the world. He takes care of us like a parent takes care of their little kid only He is a lot better at it, and a lot smarter, and He has infinite access to anything. At this point I could say that "my dad could beat your dad" but why would a guy beat himself?

All to say, I'm smiling on the inside right now. :) :D

Focusing on the Temporary Benefits

Have you ever noticed how some people thing temporary fixes will be really good for them? They (I'm included here all too often) See something that will make their problems go away, at least for a little while, but that's okay because when that runs out, they'll just find another. Its like grabbing a coal out of the fire because your hands are cold. Sure, it warms your hands up, but then it starts to burn them, and leaves them a lot worse off. The nice thing is when it starts to get too hot, you can drop it. Sadly, most quick fixes in life are more like napalm:

"Hey that looks nice and toasty, oh yeah warming right up. Oh wow, that's starting to get hot, oh wow, oh man! I can't get it off! Oh holy crap! I have no hands!"

By then its too late. The damage has been done. At least your hands are warm, lying there in a puddle of goo. It would have taken far too long to sit near the fire, a safe distance away, turning your hands back and forth to evenly increase the temperature of both sides. No, way too much work. I'll just take the easy road. I'll just take to road that looks like stairs, really, really big stairs. Sure it hurts when you hit the ground from 12 feet up, but hey, you got down quicker and easier.

Okay, nuff said, the temporary fix pisses me off.

Lets sing about sex!

Wham Bam Thank you Ma'am!
That's what they say when they get all done
No need to talk it out
Just be a man and do it son

Its okay to enjoy yourself
Its okay if it feels nice
Theres nothing wrong with letting go
Its not like you're gonna do it twice

One night on the town
One night back in bed
Theres no need to know her name
As long as she has a pretty head

Tell her what she wants to know
At least what she wants to hear
Get her high on booze and drugs
Get her drunk so she'll hold you near

"Come on baby, lets go home
Don't be loud the kids are sleeping
Its okay their moms out of town
Whats wrong, why are you wheeping?"

"You just want to be loved?
Well girl thats why I'm here
As long as you spread your legs
I'll lend you my slimy ears"

Can't you see what your doing?
Destroying lives without a care
Can't you see the pain you're causing?
When your hearts shredded you don't have a spare

But theres more going on than what you see
There is a reality beyond just "you and me"
Hearts are torn, fighting against themselves
Emotions are placed upon the shelf

They think that's what causes pain
But they don't know its useless shame
They could be fulfilled in an instant
The one who truly loves them is not so distant

If you want to feel loved, but not left behind
If you need to be taken care of, not taken advantage of
If life doesn't give you what you feel it should, you are looking in the wrong place

We were meant to have a living breathing awesome intense pleasurable amazing relationship with God and He wants to take care of our every need and desire. If life drags you down, if nothing is fulfilling, if disappointment is all you know, there is a place to turn. Don't worry about people, whether good, bad, or hypocritical, but give God a chance, He won't let you down.

A strange feeling

Ever felt like something was trying to climb its way out of your skull? I'm not talking about a headache. Sometimes it actually feels like there isn't enough room inside my head for whatever is rooming with my brain. Strange....

Freedom

This song is by a band called "Run Kid Run" and the song is called "Freedom". I like it very much. It pisses me off to no end when I fight and fight with something only to realize that hey, that fight was fought 2000 years ago and I don't have to fight it. The revelation is awesome and I feel so much freedom. After a while I go ahead and move on the the next pointless fight. So stupid.

Oh my chains, I can't disengage
I don't believe that I want to
One hand sings your praise
The other brings me shame
I have selfishness to blame

And I'm singing for freedom,
I know I'm not the only one praying to the One,
Who can bring me this freedom,
I'm ready for change, change, change, change

Looking down I lay
I keep holding my chains
No longer bound but here I stay
I scream, Father please, I need rescuing
I need and you alone

And I'm singing for freedom
I know I'm not the only one praying to the one
Who can bring me this freedom
I'm ready for, I'm ready for

Still You patiently await
Yet I won't just let go
I see You and You alone
Saying come, follow me
Dispair has come so You can see, release

So I'm singing for freedom
So I'm singing for freedom

The time has come-separation lost the war to love
Take my hand, grace is found, yeah where Your words begin,
You're alive, You're alive, in the waking of new life,
Take my hand, in the end there's only love, there's only love

There's only singing for freedom
I know I'm not the only one praying to the One
Who can bring me this freedom
I'm ready for, I'm ready for
Father please, I need rescuing
I need You and You alone

The Speeding Ticket

For the most part, I'm a good boy.
I obey the law. I do what I can to be a contributing member of society and ramain in good standing with justice. Latley however I've been a bit more relaxed. A bit more at ease. Well, with my speed anyway. I always went the speed limit. I would ask God to make it seem faster so I would enjoy it more. He definitely helped out there, but I guess it wasn't enough for me. I will admit, I like to pass people on the freeway. I like to go fast and get where I'm going without wasting a bunch of time doing it. Sadly though, my incres in speed spilled over into places other than the freeway. I got pulled over three times within the last six weeks. Most of you are probably thinking "you shoulda learned your lesson you bloomin' idiot" however the first two times I received no ticket. I was given mercy due to accidently breaking the speed limit in school zone when I though it was after five but it wasn't, and due to a super nice cop who mostly pulled me over for a license plate light out (which I fixed the next day). This morning however, I was going to the club. Much later than usual due to unavoidable circumstances, and I wasn't watching my speed as well as I should have been. There is a portion of road that is wide, and uncrouded. It is near the freeway and the speed is 25. I have a very difficult time following this and today I didn't even point one bit of attention. I was pulled over in the parking lot for going 40 in a 25. Its my first ticket so I can do driving school, but I can no longer say "I've never gotten a ticket". Maybe thats a good thing. Maybe God is breaking down my pride so that I don't have any self dependence. Fine with me, I just wish it didn't make me feel like a big steaming pile of dog crap.

Old visions vs. New Situations

Lately, I have been struggling with direction. I thought I new what my goals were a long time ago. Then God threw a wrench into the gears and everything changed. It was good and I was excited. Then things changed again, and again, and so on. So now that some time has gone by and I've grown older and more experienced in this thing called life, and now I have no specific goals. There is nothing I am holding onto that I'm expecting to carry me away. I had thought I knew what the next step was, but then I was informed that was not the direction of heading. I was also given the word "don't live on past words" which is terribly frustrating. At what point are we giving up on God's promises? Are we supposed to simply wait until they come to fruition? Are we supposed to move on with our lives hoping that we don't screw things up too badly? Its funny because these plans that seem to be poking their heads up into my life are the plans I had long ago, but they upset me. I'm not one to move on too easily once I've made up my mind. Don't get me wrong, I'm open minded and flexible, but when it comes to major life decisions, I tend to ponder longer and longer before going any specific way and I tend to stay on that road. Now life has decided to split the road ahead.
HAHA! Now what are you going to do? Mr. Steady Plodder, Mr. Gonna Stick With It Until The End! You have to make a choice. You have to go one way or the other and neither of them is what is straight ahead in the distance. Good luck sucker!

So that is what is on my mind right now. Amongst other things. Mounds and mountains of other things.

Confessions/Goals

The awesome confessions and goals written by PrincessMama have inspired me to write some of my own. In the same way, I am not big on new years resolutions but maybe its time for a change. First up, some confessions.

I'm always worried that I'm going to be hungry later. I get into a habit of eating a ton of food so I won't be hungry later, but then the next time I eat, I still eat a lot because by that point my body needs a huge amount of food to feel satisfied. Granted, I need a lot of calories to because I burn a lot. I am just a big person and I am pretty active.
Also, as strange as it may sound, I eat to feel powerful. I eat food that I know is bad for me and I shouldn't eat because I know no one can stop me. I'm doing something "wrong" and I won't get in trouble for it because its my choice and its my decision. What a stupid attitude. So, in saying, here are some goals:

1. Lose 17 lbs by the end of February
2. Be able to run 2 miles at 8.5 miles an hour without stopping(treadmill)
3. Make sugar a once a week indulgment by end of January

Those are good enough health goals for now.